Ulquiorra's Obsession and Barragon's One Weakness
by Vixen the Goddess Chevalier
Summary: What happens when Barragon finds Kagome holds the one thing that he can't destroy? And what happens when Ulquiorra comes to retrieve Barragon? And what if Ulquiorra became obsessed with the one thing Barragon wanted to destroy? So obsessed, he would wait 500 years to get it. 500 years just to get his hands on a Twinky... wait, what?


Okay, my muse went high on Joker's laughing gas again. I thought I hide it well enough... appearantly I didn't. She found it and got high on it, and now I'm having all sorts of shit running through my mind. This story was just on of those things. Appearantly, my muse thought it would be funny to give Ulquiorra an obsession like Naruto is obsessed with Ramen... only a hundred times worse. After all, who would wait 500 FUCKING YEARS to get their hands on a FUCKING TWINKY! *sigh* forgive the ranting author. This author is stressed out because of her muse...

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Kagome sighed as she walked down the path, following Inuyasha. The yellow bag on her back was completely empty, making it weightless as she carried it. Her stomach growled and she put one hand on her stomach. Frowning she reached behind her back. She couldn't believe she was about to do this... she kept this for emergencies only, but she was hungry, and the Inu-Tachi had run out of food yesterday. Pulling her hand out from behind her back, she looked at the small yellow pastry in her hand, sighing as she unwrapped it. In front of her, Inuyasha's nose twitched and he turned around as he smelled the food Kagome held.

"Hey wench! Where'd you get the food! And... what the hell is that?"

Kagome glared at Inuyasha.

"Sit!" Inuyasha face planted into the ground, growling as his face met dirt. "I always carry an emergancy stash of food with me, somewhere you can't get it because I know you'll just try to take it and won't share with the rest of us. As for what it's called... this is called a Twinky. It's a very delicious food, and the most immune thing to time known to man."

Kagome blinked as a black portal opened up next to her and a large man stepped out of it. The man had scars on his face, and a white crown sat upon his head. His clothing looked rather fine, as if he was royalty. The man looked around a little before his eyes fell on Kagome.

"I could have sworn I heard someone say 'immune to time'."

Kagome blinked as she held up her Twinky.

"Um... I did. I was talking about my Twinky. It's the most immune thing to time known to man."

The man glared at the Twinky.

"Give me that. We shall see."

Kagome blinked and pulled another Twinky out from behind her back, giving it to the man. As she did, Inuyasha finally managed to pull himself out of the hole Kagome had planted him in. He glared at the man Kagome was giving the Twinky to.

"Who the Hell are you, and where the fuck did you come from!"

The man ignored Inuyasha in favor of the Twinky, making Inuyasha growl and jump at the man. Kagome sighed.

"Inuyasha... sit. Sit, sit, sit, sit, SIT."

Inuyasha face planted into the ground again, groaning as he was buried six feet deep, and Kagome turned her attention back to the man as he held the Twinky, his hand starting to glow black. The wrapper around the Twinky rotted away, but nothing happened to the Twinky. This made the man glare at the Twinky even more and he threw it down on the ground.

"Respira!"

Kagome blinked, reconizing the spanish word for 'breathe' from her spanish classes at High School. What the hell was a Spaniard doing in Japan in the Fuedal Era? She watched as the black glow gathered around the man's hands again, and with another shout of 'Respira!' he fired black energy at the Twinky on the ground. When nothing happened, well other then the ground around the Twinky decaying, the man seemed to grow angry.

"Respira! Respira, Respira, Respira!"

The man fired more black energy at the Twinky, but again, nothing happened other then the ground decaying. Kagome just blinked and shook her head. What in the world was he trying to do? A portal like the one the man had arrived from suddenly opened up next to her, and another man stepped out of it. His blue-green eyes were emotionless, and green lines trailed down from his eyes like tear tracks. Half his head was covered in some sort of mask, and his clothing was similar to the first man's. The new arrival looked around, his eyes falling on Kagome before he looked at the first man.

"Barragon. You were never given permission to leave. What do you think you are doing?"

Kagome blinked and looked between the new arrival and the first man, Barragon as she now knew his name was.

"I think he's trying to destroy a Twinky."

The new arrival looked at her, his eyes narrowing.

"Twinky? What are you talking about girl?"

Kagome sighed and pulled another Twinky out from behind her back and handed it to the new arrival. The man looked at her like she was insane.

"You're supposed to eat it. Don't worry, I'm not trying to poison you. See, I'll eat one too."

Kagome pulled yet another Twinky out from behind her back and opened it, eating it slowly. The new arrival looked between her and the Twinky, slowly taking it from her and doing as she had done, opening it and taking a bite out of it. His eyes widened and he quickly devoured it. Kagome smiled.

"Gimme TWINKY!"

Kagome blinked. Then she pulled her last Twinky out from behind her back and handed it to the man, watching as he quickly devoured that one too.

"TWINKY!"

Kagome shook her head. Barragon had stopped trying to kill the Twinky he had been firing at when the second man had shouted to 'give him a Twinky', his eyes nearly popping out of head as he stared at the second man.

"Ulquiorra...?"

Kagome blinked and looked at Barragon.

"Is something wrong?"

Barragon shook his head, then glared at the Twinky on the ground again.

"Ulquiorra has never shown emotions. So that's a first."

Kagome looked at the newly identified Ulquiorra as he stared at her.

"Anymore Twinkies?"

Kagome sighed and pointed at the one on the ground.

"Just the one Barragon is trying to kill."

Barragon glared at the Twinky again and Ulquiorra looked at Barragon and then the Twinky. Barragon shook his head.

"I wouldn't Ulquiorra. Unless you want to die."

Ulquiorra cocked his head. If he did... he'd die happy. Kagome sighed.

"If you're still alive in 500 years, come look for me by the God Tree. I live at a Shrine there. I'll give you more Twinkies then Ulquiorra."

Ulquiorra's head snapped over to gaze at Kagome and he grinned.

"TWINKY!"

Grabbing Barragon by the arm, Ulquiorra dragged the man back into the portal.

"See you in 500 years... girly."

"KAGOME! My name is Kagome!"

"Kagome. See you in 500 years Kagome!"

She just barely caught the farewell as the portal closed. Sighing, Kagome looked at Inuyasha. He was just managing to dig himself out of the hole she had buried him in.

"Let's get back to Edo. We're out of food. I need to get home to get more."

Sighing again, Kagome started down the path. Edo soon came into view, and she ran through the village, saying hi to a few people as they greeted her. She quickly made her way to the well, looking behind her and waving to Inuyasha as she jumped into it. The normal pink and blue lights accompanied her decent, letting her know she had made the trip through time. Climbing out of the well, she opened the door to the well house and made her way to her house. She blinked as she spotted a familiar form sitting on the steps of her house. For her, it had barely been an hour since she last saw him, but for him, it would have been five centuries.

"Ulquiorra?"

Blue-green eyes turned to look at her and a smile lit up his face.

"Kagome! You actually remember me? Does that mean you remember your promise?"

Kagome chuckled.

"Of course I do Ulquiorra. While for you it has been five centuries, it's only been about an hour since I saw you."

Ulquiorra blinked but decided to just go with it.

"Twinky?"

Kagome laughed and made her way into her house.

"Yes, I have Twinkies inside. Come on Ulquiorra."

Ulquiorra smiled and followed Kagome into her house.

"TWINKY!"


End file.
